Danny: Hi all, and welcome to All Our Brave Hearts podcast! I am Danny and I am a nonspeaking autistic man, and author, presenter, and advocate. I use Spelling to Communicate (S2C). Tara, can you explain?
Tara: Yeah, I can explain. He uses S2C, which means in his case that he spells out his words letter by letter on a laminate board that has the alphabet on his, and that's his preferred mode of communicating. I am Tara, his sister and main Communication and Regulation Partner (CRP), and together we co-host this podcast. And it's through our experiences as Danny, a disabled man, and me, his support person and family member, that we share our thoughts and ideas about interdependence. And our big point is that embracing interdependence is necessary for a more compassionate and better future for everybody, disabled or not. Alright, Danny?
So Danny is struggling a bit today with a lot of stress and anxiety, so you might hear quite a bit of stimming. Do you want to say more about that?
D: I do. I am really having a tough time and it is a lot of anxiety, but I am insisting on doing this episode now. Tara leaves in two days for work for a few weeks, so I will miss her and I wanted to record this before she goes.
T: So as I think we mentioned in the previous episode, I have a conservation work contract coming up, so I'll be up in Oregon for a few weeks for that. And then Danny and our sister and mom are going to come meet me there, because by really wonderful coincidence, Danny's been invited to speak at a panel event near Portland the weekend after my class ends. So we get a little family trip up there as well.
And you might hear Danny stimming in the background. He is sitting on the couch a little distance from me. He is having a tough time with anxiety. Danny, do you want to bring your body here to say anything?
D: I'm so struggling and I am so being loud, but I insisted on recording this. Tara, I will miss you so much, but I will be fine with our mom and sister. Let's go to text-to-speech
T: Alright, we'll do that.
D: Today will be a light and simple episode. I think a lot of us are feeling stressed or rundown. I sure am.
Maybe it is the election or the Covid bump or the heat or the grind of living in late stage capitalism. I am losing my sense of center. I am needing some lightness.
T: Yeah, me too, Danny. And by "lightness," I don't mean artificial positivity - I don't that kind of forced positive attitude. I just mean a nice reminder of some of the happier things that we have in our lives. A little bit of appreciation, a little awareness of that.
D: I wrote a list of things that are stressing me out earlier today. It was a long list! But it felt good to spell it out.
I am ready to strategize how to approach these things. But for now, let's be a bit more carefree in our chat. Tara tell me about something that is bringing you joy these days.
T: That helps me too, Danny, writing out the things that are on my mind. That can be a huge help. As for things that are bringing me joy these days - I'll stick with the small things, the little things - I'm really loving the plants I have growing on my balcony. I'd kind of let my balcony garden go barren and die out for a while, and it felt really empty for many many months. Finally at the beginning of this summer, I got my act together and got that "to do" item checked off. I bought some plants and tended to them, and they've survived. I've really loved sitting out on my balcony and looking at my ripening cherry tomatoes and jalapeno peppers and my so-far still-thriving herbs. It's just nice to cultivate a little world on that balcony, even if I don't actually get that much food out of it. Any thoughts?
D: You brought me some tomatoes today. I loved them!
T: Good!
D: I love it! For me, one thing is looking out over the valley from our back patio. It is such a refreshing view. I am so appreciating it these days.
I also just love our dogs. They are so sweet and silly. They make each day so full of love and laughs.
And you have a cat to entertain you.
T: Yes! I have both our dogs, who I absolutely love, and my partner's cat, who is extremely cute and highly entertaining as you say. He's a ginger cat, and it's my first time really getting close to a feline, and they're so weird! But I love it. It's nice, also, with the dogs and the cat, to feel like you're helping make a safe and loving, comfortable home for another living being. That's a really nice feeling. And of course it's nice to feel like you have a friendly little shadow following you around as you do whatever it is you do at home.
D: For me, I absolutely enjoy our ocean fun times. Snorkeling and paddleboarding are so much fun and freeing. I am feeling ever more confident in the water.
We even saw dolphins last time! What a gift!
T: That was so cool! It was a pretty nice snorkel session - probably the best one we'd had in a while - saw some leopard sharks, some Garibaldi. We were kind of hoping to see a sea turtle, but we ran out of time. And on our way back, I heard a squeak under the water, and I thought, "Wait a second. That sounds like it could be something!" And I peeked out of the water and looked around right as two Bottlenose dolphin dorsal fins came up to the surface. So we got to see them swim by, which was really nice. And it was a beautiful sunny day! The water was warm, but still refreshing. And you had such an air of confidence and comfort in the water, Danny, which was really nice to see.
D: I also love waking up each morning and seeing the painting that my friend Jeremy made for me. It is on my desk across from my bed. It is so beautiful.
I love meditating with my mom, and cooking with her. I love playing games with friends and family. I love watching Thich Nhat Hanh's on YouTube. I love choosing an outfit for going out.
I love reading cooking magazines. I love blowing out birthday candles. I love lighting incense for our family altar.
This is so nice to list these things. Tara how about you?
T: That's a nice list, Danny - I love it! For me, raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens? For real (and I do like all those things), some little things that I love would be making a cup of strong black tea and settling down in my reading nook, which is a little armchair I have in my apartment, and losing myself in a book. Getting chocolate croissants on a leisurely morning and enjoying that. I love just really mellow time spent with friends where you can really connect and catch up. I love whenever I wake up and there's a dog or cat on my bed (...preferable, one that I know).
I love practicing yoga after a long day and having that time to myself and to just reconnect to my body. I love lying in the hammock in your backyard, in the shade of the jacaranda tree and it has a view out to that valley that you mentioned earlier. Yeah, I think that's a good list for now!
D: So many of these things for me are new thanks to spelling. So I appreciate them especially. To be able to communicate things I want to do has brightened my life. It is so important to my well-being.
Tara what is something that gives you hope?
T: I wish my brain were working a little better today, because I think I could answer this much more eloquently. But one thing that gives me hope is what's possible to achieve through connection. I've seen some really amazing things done by friends and colleagues and loved ones, through connecting with each other. Like my young colleagues in Myanmar who are doing amazing conservation work under extremely difficult circumstances for their country, and a lot of it is possible because they really connect with each other and with the communities that they work with from the heart.
And you and I, Danny, what we've been able to do together, not ever expecting it to have an impact on so many people. But it's pretty amazing to see that people have been moved by what we do, just the two of us, often just sitting at this kitchen table. That gives me hope. And just seeing how our family has survived through a lot of tough times because of the love we have for each other.
So that's what gives me hope: that a lot is possible through human connection. That connection is so powerful. What about you, Danny?
D: For me, it is that people listen to this podcast. I still can't believe that I have a fully audio podcast. I had worried that people wouldn't be interested or patient to listen to my spelling or to my text-to-speech. That so many love it is such a profound joy.
Also, my amazing peers who are breaking barriers and changing the world. They inspire me.
So that is it for today. I am pretty dysregulated so I needed a short and sweet episode. Let us know what you love and what brings you hope!
I know this was an episode with relatively little live spelling from me. I am so not able to spell much now. But I hope you enjoyed it.
T: I think people will understand, Danny. And I also hope that you all enjoyed the podcast and this episode. As Danny said, let us know what you love and what brings you hope!
As always, please consider liking, subscribing, rating, reviewing this podcast on whatever platform you use. You can read the full transcript at AllOurBraveHearts.substack.com, and there's a link there if you want to donate to Danny for his unpaid advocacy work. Please contact us - leave comments on Substack or on Danny's social media under "Danny With Words." You might have noticed... I feel like my voice is so low energy today. So like Danny, I appreciate your understanding of different energy levels, and hope you were able to enjoy it all the same.
Alright, take care, and until next episode!
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