Danny: Hi all, and welcome to All Our Brave Hearts podcast!
Tara: Yeah, welcome everybody!
D: I am Danny, a nonspeaking autistic writer and advocate, and this is my sister, Tara.
T: Yep, I'm very lucky to be your sister, Danny Whitty!
D: We share our experiences in interdependence, and invite listeners to explore related topics with us.
T: That's a great summary.
D: I am using Spelling to Communicate, and you can learn more about it at I-ASC.org. And Tara, can you explain how we do this?
T: Yeah! So the way Danny is communicating now, you can probably hear his finger tapping letters out on a laminate board that has the alphabet on it, and he often reads his words out loud as he spells them. Or I'll read them. But for the bulk of his podcasts and some of his longer presentation work, he will prepare his words ahead of time and then have his chosen text-to-speech voice read it out loud.
Is that a sufficient explanation, boss?
D: Yes, it will do.
T: Ha! I'm relieved to hear that.
D: As you should be.
To start, our question.
T: I guess it's your turn to go first. So, at the beginning of each episode, the question we've been asking each other is: what is something brave you've done recently?
D: I am going to say that my brave thing has been to have hope.
T: I'd love to hear more.
D: That's all you will get!
T: That's all I'm gonna get?!
D: Just kidding!
The idea of hope is scary and feels almost arrogant sometimes.
T: I can see that.
D: It is hard to feel comfortable hoping when you have had a hard life.
T: I completely relate to that, Danny, and can totally see why you feel that.
D: It is almost a privilege to hope with feeling nervous about it.
T: I mean, I can't imagine feeling hope and feeling completely comfortable and assured about it.
D: Right? I am trying it anyway.
T: Good for you! Tell us more about it.
D: I am trying to reconfigure my relationship to hope and to fear.
T: That's great, Danny. I've actually thought about trying to find someone who can do (I think it's called) somatic bodywork or therapy. It's pretty trendy now, but I know someone who's been doing it for a while. And I, too, am working on reconfiguring my relationship to fear. It's nice that we're going through these processes at the same time. It really allows us to help each other through it.
D: Totally! I am daring to hope and it is beautiful.
T: That's really nice, Danny. Can you share, if it's not too personal or too scary, a specific hope that you're daring to have these days?
D: To have a cozy new home and make it full of love
T: Well that's something I know you're very capable of doing, so that's a good hope - a reasonable hope to have
D: That is my main hope these days.
T: Well I also hope that this cozy new home isn't too far away for you. For those who maybe haven't listened to previous episodes, Danny and our mom are just searching for a new home to rent. Their long-time home of nine years is not going to be available to them early next year, because the landlord wants to move back in. So I'm glad to hear that you're hopeful, Danny, and I'm starting to be hopeful. This is a big change, and it's a change that affects things that are at the core of our feelings of safety and well-being in the world, right?
D: Indeed! Tara, how about you?
T: I'm going to say that, lately, what I've been working on is being more self-assured about how I allow myself to be treated, and being firm with those boundaries. Over the past year or so, I've done a lot of evaluating of how people in my life have treated me.
This might seem like a petty example for someone in her early 40s, but for example: I identified a friendship where I was actually consistently being made to feel pretty disrespected in hurtful ways that seemed fairly purposeful. And once I identified that trend, that pattern, took steps back from that friendship, and that behavior continued and became fairly bizarre. And mutual friends are involved.
The way I've been brave is just being really unflinching in standing up for the respect I know I deserve, and how I expect my friends to support me in that. And also reconnecting with friends who are really close and who have known me for a long time, but who are just scattered around the globe, and seeking their reassurances. That's been very affirming to me of what I deserve as a person. I think, before, I would've maybe just wallowed in it a bit and just made myself feel bad - this sounds like such middle school drama, though!
But it does feel good to be standing up for it, and not insisting but not shying away from believing and stating that belief that I deserve to be treated with respect and I deserve to have friends who support me in that.
D: That is absolutely right!
T: You know, Danny, having you in my life has given me so much of that courage, because you are the person in my life who really understands me and stands up for me when others have misunderstood me. You are my foundation... I can't express in words, on the fly like this, how much that means. But having your care and support makes me so much braver.
D: I love that so much!
T: Yeah, I hope so!
D: Haha! Okay, let's dive in!
This time of year lends itself to reflection amidst holiday bustle. I am taking this episode to reflect on this first season of this podcast. I can't believe we've been doing this since February. I am so proud of this podcast and happy that people are loving it. Thank you for being with us.
I am confident that my vision for this podcast has been realized in how we have managed to convey the depths of conversation possible with someone who communicates like I do. That is a big achievement for me. And I feel like we have opened minds on several topics important to people with my disability and disabled people in general. That also feels fulfilling.
And I love that this podcast has resonated with my community. I am so proud of that.
T: It's funny - as you were writing this, I was like, "oh! how many months have we been doing this? Since May? June?" But yeah, we started in February because you really wanted to get started by Valentine's Day.
I know you said this was your passion project for the year, and look at us! We're at 20 episodes. Definitely didn't meet our initial ambitious schedule. But I think 20 episodes in our first year, when we're really busy and figuring things out, is pretty good!
D: Totally!
T: Not only did we get this out there to share with people - and, from what I can tell from the analytics, we have hundreds of people listening - but we also showed ourselves: how can we make a podcast that captures our interactions when we're chatting, but also logistically is easy for listeners to tune into, that is accessible. And I think that we came up with a really nice approach: a really nice combination showcasing the spelling live, as well as your pre-recorded text-to-speech context.
So, congratulations, Danny! I'm proud, definitely. It's been a great experience.
D: I am so proud of you for figuring out the logistics!
T: Of course. It was my pleasure.
D: That said, I wished for more engagement by nondisabled people or people out of the disability realm. I hoped that this would reach these people and expand their understanding of interdependence. I had a vision of moving them to demonstrate better allyship in public. That is a necessary step for a more inclusive and compassionate future.
I don't know how to reach more of this audience. I am going to use the next two months to ponder this. If you have suggestions, please let us know!
T: I feel that, Danny. It's hard for me to have a good perspective on how "outsiders" would engage with what we're sharing. For me, I think it's obviously interesting, but that's because this is very much our life story and the stories of people that are close to us - the many families of nonspeakers that we know. We know that there are a lot of meaningful lessons and stories to share, and we desire society to have a broader understanding and appreciation of those experiences. Maybe we're a bit naive or overly optimistic about how much time and energy people would put into learning about this without having a more personal tie to it.
It's good for us to reflect on that, too. How do we choose to allocate our energy to understanding the experiences of people who are different from us? I certainly try... but I'm wanting to think more on that, on when I do find it compelling or when I feel motivated to learn more about experiences that aren't like mine, what comes together to make that happen?
I'm hopeful we'll just kind of gather enough momentum as we continue with this podcast, and as the network of our listeners grows and grows, perhaps we'll reach some critical mass where more and more non-family members of nonspeakers will tune in. I'm convinced they'll find something of interest and value, but we just have to get them here.
D: Maybe we need catchy jingle!
T: Haha! I love the song that you and Brian wrote. Maybe a catchy little flashy jingle to get it out there... some TikTok videos? I know you're pretty adamant about not being on TikTok.
I will say that we put a lot of thought into trying to make this podcast more broadly accessible. If we recorded it as it you're actually spelling out all of your words, it would be more accurate to what our communication is like, but it would be a long time for listeners. So that's a big reason why you chose to do the text-to-speech voice.
Danny had actually resisted for a long time on the text-to-speech voice; he wanted to work on his own speech. But when we were planning out this podcast, he said, "you know what? I know it's going to be hard for people to just listen to me slowly spelling the whole time, so let's do the text-to-speech voice instead."
We tried to incorporate enough of the live spelling so people understand what that process is like, so when they meet a speller in real life, they have a better idea of what to expect from that exchange.
Was any of that relevant, Danny?
D: Haha! I think so.
T: Alright, that's good enough for me. But yes, we were definitely hoping for a more diverse audience. That's just something we'll have to work on in the next round, right?
D: Yes.
That is honestly pretty disappointing. I am frustrated by the lack of more committed interest from such folks. But I am still hopeful that we can rope them in!
On the whole, I am thrilled with how this first season went. That is thanks to you listeners and your kind and enthusiastic support. I am so fortunate in you all!
T: As much as we wish we had more diverse listeners, we are so thrilled with the listeners that we do had. It's meant so much to get your feedback. Like, for example at the Motormorphosis conference we went to this summer, it was amazing to hear from so many people there how much they loved the podcast, how much their spellers loved the podcast. There were people listening to it as they were driving, doing their road trips to the conference.
Danny, you got some really nice notes from listeners who were at the conference, and some of them didn't feel like they wanted to bother you or take your time. By the way, the notes are lovely... Danny is always happy to meet and chat, even if he doesn't have the energy to have a long conversation. You don't have to feel like you're "wasting our time" or "imposing."
D: Not at all! Please say hi.
So yes, we will take a break until spring next year. I will be arranging interviews and scheming topics and some new features, like an advice episode once a month. We also want to feature more interactions with our listeners. This will be an even better season coming up!
Thank you all for being with us. I am so wishing you a wonderful end to the year, and a sparkling start to the new one.
Tara send us off!
T: Sure, Dan! So you totally did not tell me ahead of time that we were going to take a break, that this was the end of our first season. We hadn't even talked about having seasons. I have to say, I am relieved that we'll be taking a break. This December is going to be a very busy month, and in January we have some exciting new schemes, individually and together, that we need to work on getting out into the world.
We appreciate so much having you with us this year, this first season of All Our Brave Hearts. If you feel so inclined to give us a token of appreciation in this season of reflection and togetherness and appreciation, please do - if you haven't already - subscribe, like, rate, review, comment, share. Any of those things you can do to both raise the profile of the podcast, which makes it more visible so people will check it out, and also just get in touch with us. We love hearing from you!
Please get in touch maybe with voice notes or any kind of message even if it's just in text - what are some brave things you've done in your life? We really do want to share more, and as Danny said, have a more interactive second season. So send those along, as well as a quick note like "hey, it's ok to share this with my name" or "you can share this, but without my name." Danny has a Ko-fi account if you feel inclined and in a position to donate for his unpaid advocacy work. And I think that's it!
Just stay tuned on Danny's social media - Danny With Words - or if you're subscribed, you'll be notified when we start posting again.
You know, we really need a break, because Danny had titled this episode "Brave end to the year," and I kept saying, "Brave end to the world." So I think that's a kind of subconscious slip of the tongue that maybe reflects something different.
D: Haha! So fatalistic.
T: Hopefully, it's not the end of the world, just the end of the year. Yeah, I know that a lot of people feel like the end of the world is coming. But we have hope that it will continue beyond the year. We're wishing you a wonderful end to 2024 and a great start to 2025. Stay in touch!
D: Thank you all, and see you next year!
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